Are you a good listener? Most people will automatically respond yes. That is not really a question that you can answer. The people that talk to you are the ones that can rate your listening ability. Let me rephrase the inquiry. Do you get to the heart of the matter? Do you hear the "T" of what is being communicated? The "T" helps to clarify what is being heard or read. Three key "T"s of any message are trigger, tilt, and terms.
- Hear (T)rigger - It helps to know the cause of a remark or an action in order to properly deal with the effect. Sometimes if you are aware of the trigger that influenced a person, you can choose a suitable response. Don't take everything personally. The way someone deals with you may be due their environment or other external factors. They could be hungry, tired, stressed, overwhelmed, or distracted by things beyond your control. Instead of automatically assuming that a person is not receptive to what you have said or done because they have a problem with you, consider that there may be other reasons.
- Hear (T)ilt - When you are trying to convince someone of your point of view, know when to stop talking or change your approach. Pay attention to the tilt (direction) of what they are saying to you. If it appears that they are leaning towards agreeing with you, don't talk yourself out of the deal. If hard, cold facts aren't swaying them, maybe you need to appeal to their emotions. Ask questions and find out what is important to them. Adjust your content or delivery to make it relevant to them.
- Hear (T)erms - It is important for all parties in a conversation, or meeting, to be on the same page. If you are able to set the terms, then do your best to stick to them. When you ask someone for 15 minutes of their time, don't take 30 minutes. People are more likely to deal with you when they feel that they can believe what you say. If someone else sets the terms and you agree to them, make sure that you have a clear understanding of what you need to do. Listen with the intent to comply with and contribute to the order that has been set.
Leave a comment and share which "T" will be your focus this week.
The introductory question was awesome... Are you a good listener? It depends on who is talking and the deliverance of the message. I sometimes feel bad for students when they are forced to sit under teachers that have awful deliverance and then blame the kids for not paying attention. It’s tough. All you hear is the Charlie Brown teacher” wonk… wonk… wonk…
ReplyDeleteI guess my focus this week will be the Tilt! As a job developer it’s like sales. Listening is so important because most time people will tell you how to seal the deal however sometimes I have so much to say I just want to get it out!!! So this week I will focus more on the tilt of the conversation to not talk myself out of a deal and work on my deliverance. WMG